Stillness of Surrender

There’s just something about the ocean. Its power and beauty truly bring rest to my soul. If I’m being really honest, I have a bit of a fear of it too. Its vastness and the things you can’t see scare me. You never know if you’re going to step on a sea urchin, if an eel will spring out of a rock when snorkeling, or my biggest fear…sharks! It’s not like the ocean comes with warning music like the famous, ‘Da dum,’ from the movie,“Jaws.” There isn’t for Trigger Fish either! I actually got bit by one - on my face - while minding my own business when swimming near shore! So I feel like my fears are a little bit warranted.

Even though I have my oceanic concerns, recently I stepped out of my comfort zone when my husband and I were on vacation in Hawaii. We went on a guided outrigger canoe trip early one morning. I may or may not have been the only one out of the four of us wearing a life jacket, but nonetheless, I went and did my part when it came to paddling.

It was so beautiful…in more ways than one. As we made our way further and further from the safety of the shore, in spite of the windy choppy conditions of the ocean, our guide assured us we’d appreciate the view of seeing the island from a distance. He wasn’t wrong. Distance can definitely impact perspective. When you’re up close to something, you might notice little details that might not seem like much, but stepping back reveals the bigger picture. This was something I was about to experience during our excursion. I just didn’t know it yet.

Eventually, we paddled to a place where he had us stop and he shared some of the history of the island and the mountains. It was truly heartfelt. He gave each of us a tea leaf and led us through a Hawaiian ceremony. He encouraged us to touch the water, take in the view of the land, and reflect on anything we need to let go of. Then had us drop our leaf into the ocean as a symbol of release.

I wish I could put into words how taking that time of reflection felt. It stirred something in me. As endless as the ocean felt with the wind wrapping itself around us and waves lapping against the canoe, I felt like it was a moment just between me and Jesus. And in that moment, I thought of all of the things that weigh down my heart. We don’t have to look very far to see how recent political events can create a significant division that even reaches into families. Speaking of families, I think we can all agree that those relationships can be complicated, but sometimes those complications create fractures. I know this firsthand and the brokenness my heart feels is a real thing.

I have many other things on my mind and I’m sure you do too. But as I sat in silence, moved by the waves and my own emotions I had a little epiphany. I know that we, that I, am called to cast all my worries onto God. I know that.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 - NIV

But sometimes, like I mentioned earlier, when you’re up close and see all of the things, that list of worries can feel endless. It can almost make everything worse. And I do not have enough tea leaves to release for each one of these things.

That’s when it hit me.

I need to give all my worries to God. But, more than that. I need to give all of myself to Him. What I mean is, I need to trust God with all of the aspects of my life, not just my current list of concerns. I hope that makes sense. I just know that in that moment in the middle of the ocean, I felt a peace wash over me. A peace that I haven’t felt in a long time. Instead of feeling just ok about something I’ve prayed about, I felt an overall stillness in my heart. And in that stillness, it was just me and Jesus - and maybe a little splash every now and then from a little wave - and one of my favorite verses came to life.

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 - ESV

That, my friend, is a feeling I want to hold onto always. I want that for you too.

I want to add briefly though, I’m not saying we shouldn’t bring our concerns and worries to God. Prayer is a powerful thing. For me, I need to remember that I don’t always need to itemize each and every thing all the time and just trust all of me to all of God.

I know I shared quite a bit of words. But as long as we’re still together, I want to encourage you with a few more in a little prayer you can start your day off with if you want to.

God, You are the one who spoke life into the universe and created the heavens, earth and the oceans. You were in all of the details of creation then. You’re in all the details now. Help me to remember to step back and see the bigger picture of who you are. Open my eyes to see you in every aspect of my day, my night, and in all of the concerns of my heart. Thank you that I can trust you with all of the circumstances with my life, today and always. Amen.